Do you believe we're all connected to a collective Oneness or collective Consciousness?
Being a sum of the whole, we have to understand and give each other the benefit of doubt of good intentions. That’s not to say we should stay in situations that are not aligned with our True Self or that are abusive.
An incident occurred with a friend recently, where instead of just taking a moment to breathe and validate or falsify what was happening, the situation escalated unnecessarily into a blazing fire. This person lost their way and went into Self and into Ego.
So, a comment was made about one of the children in gest and after some reflection it was interpreted as ill-willed by said friend. So, instead of how it was meant and the fact that it was a hypothetical and untrue comment said by another friend of over 20 years whose intention was purely conversational - the situation escalated unnecessarily.
The point is – wanting and raising children is a community experience. We need to be able to parent each other’s children if it is the best for the child. Now I know you could question, who knows what’s best for a child? And honestly, the answer I have for this is – we can only guide with a pure heart and intention and through living consciously. And that goes for the parents themselves. They need to come from conscious awareness instead of the Ego Self and wounding.
I have three questions I ask my Self when something comes up and I feel triggered…
What is being said exactly?
Is it true?
Who is saying it?
I usually follow question one with a ‘so what?’ in my head, because people can say what they want. It’s their expression or communication. The diffusion can start here.
Secondly, if there is no truth in the comment, the situation is easily diffused. If there is truth in it, we need to look at that deeper – that’s our work, not the person who is saying it, although it’s often easy to react, deflect or project onto others, especially those we consider close friends.
Finally, it’s very important to me who the source is – so if it’s someone I value, is trusted and is important to me, then I have to decide about investigating further into what was said, because maybe it’s something that I need to release and resolve in my Self.
How we can live consciously for future generations
It happened with my brother recently and he said something like, ‘Good girl. You’ll make someone a great wife one day’ to our niece. My sister was there and I didn’t mind telling my brother not to say that. He asked ‘why’ and without going into too much detail because our niece was there, I said, ‘because she'll start to associate the behaviour with being a ‘good wife’’.
What I was trying to demonstrate is our need to reduce or completely stop (through active reprograming and conscious living) placing our conditions on future generations. Yes, it was lovely that she had laid all the plates and teaspoons out for cake, but I wanted my brother to be conscious of his projection and condition of that behaviour (setting the table) and the association of being a ‘good wife’.
Being a ‘good wife’ is not about setting the table. Being a suitable or equal partner is far more complicated or simpler than that, and will be individual to each person’s experience, past conditions and aspirations from a partnership.
All I know is, I didn’t want my niece to form an association of a ‘good wife’ being related to setting the dinner table. What if she doesn’t want to be a ‘wife’ to someone? What if she doesn’t set the table? Who indicates what is 'good' or 'bad'?What if she doesn’t want a partnership at all and is happy living a single life?
We're doing multiple things here;
we're creating associations by our standards of 'good' and 'bad', which are pre-conditions from our parents, grand parents and society
we're shaping a life experience or expectation that being a 'wife' is a goal for a woman
we're imprinting that domestic or household activities are for females.
My intention and thought was pure (for my niece or as it would be for any other child) and my sister didn't question why I would say that to my brother. She knows I’m a trusted source and only want the best for my niece with an open mind of possibility so that we do not put our conditions and expectations on our children. And, I’d do the same for any of the kids.
If we want to live consciously and with awareness and consideration for all as One, then we all have to become conscious of our words, actions and behaviours and release our programs so that future generations can choose their own experiences.
I’m grateful for my parents, because they already raised me in a Oneness vibration, so it’s easier for me to care for others in the same light as we would for our own.
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With Love,
Divya
My mission is to be of service to our community, future generations and our environment through conscious living.
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